Christian Blogger · Christian Living · Christian Mother · Christian Wife · single moms

Transparent Moment

It’s midnight and I have some old school gangsta rap playing in the background.  I am drinking a Chicory Iced Coffee and I just finished packing up the rest of “his” stuff.  And all my Christian sisters are wondering if I lost my mind.  And I would have to say no.  I think I’m finally getting it back.

This is something we have struggled with in our marriage for a couple of years-to stay or to go.  But the time came where I realized I am worth more than drunken put downs of others and myself, drunken weekends with broken promises, drunken lame attempts at sex (and that was the only attempt), the emotional abuse of me, our son, my daughters and just living in misery.  I was and am tired of that.  I deserve better.

I tried.  I listened to everyone telling me I can’t divorce because it is not “Christian”.  He’s “JUST” an alcoholic and he can fix it.  “Have you ever lived with an alcoholic?” I would think.  That word “Just” would drive a stake through my heart.  It would anger me because I would think “how dare you minimize my hurts”.  Countless times I heard “You promised for better or for worse, Myra.   You need to stay and help him.”

So I stayed.  For two years I stayed.  For two years I attended 90% of school functions for our son alone.  For two years I slept on the couch because the thought of being with him sickened me.  For two years, I grew to despise the man who was and still is THE love of my life.  For two years I dealt with late night fights.  For two years, I lived with a man who according to him and his words and his actions I was not good enough for.  There it is.  For two years, I was made to feel unworthy.  I was made to feel inferior.  For two years, I. Got. Beat. Down.

But there came a day when I broke.  I snapped.  You know like the TV show except I didn’t murder anyone.  I remember the day like it was yesterday.  I was bloated from a missed period.  My blood sugar was not leveling off.  I had gained 5 of the 15 lbs I just lost back.  My hair was falling out.  My inner sugar addict was eating everything in sight.  Nothing could make me happy.  I became a critical, bitter, angry person.  The very thing I despise in others.

My husband could probably do everything right that day and maybe he did but I remembered the conversations from the weeks prior.  I remember the drunken weekend we were in and the all the ones prior.  I remember the broken promises to me and our son.  I remember the ruined family holidays and vacations.    I remember walking on egg shells thinking “has he had that one beer that sets him over the edge”.

Then one day he was putting down the home I had just cleaned and my children who live in it.  I remember thinking “this is effin bullshit”; “I am better than this”; “God did not design marriage like THIS”; “Did He?”  So I sought some great counsel and read my Bible.   After 30 minutes of soul searching; after 30 minutes of agonizing over how to respond, I calmly and politely told him I can’t do THIS anymore.  I did not cry.  I did not ask him to change AGAIN.  I did not do anything but tell him he needed to find a place to live away from me.

It wasn’t a pleasant conversation.  It was a very hard one especially when trying to talk to someone who is intoxicated.   I had the same conversation with him many years ago when I left him for the same reason.  My heart was broken, shredded by one simple thing: the alcohol.

What made me snap?  I couldn’t tell you.  All he asked me that day was “What do you want to do for dinner tonight?  Do you want me to take you somewhere?” and it was right after I had finished cleaning the entire home. By myself. He just pointed out everything I did not get done:  the windows were dirty, there was clothes on the bathroom floor, and laundry was piled up. Our house was too small.  We didn’t drive the right cars.  It was a blatant attitude of ungratefulness.  I love my home and my Suburban but I have never liked ungrateful people and my husband was one.

I had cleaned out the fridge (like scrubbed it down), mopped the floors, vacuumed, scrubbed the kitchen down, cleaned our bathroom and our room (which I was on a 30 day strike of cleaning to prove a point that didn’t get through),  everything was put away except my son’s clothes on the bathroom floor because he literally just stepped out of the shower and I was working on laundry.  What had he done?  He was “studying” for his Bible class while drinking 2 beers in our home office.  So, when he asked the only thing he spoke to me that day I snapped like a twig.

When I read my bible that day I automatically opened it up to Psalm 139:14:  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.  I know that full well 

What I read that day is that I am worthy of something better than the circumstances I was living.  God made me to live a life full of love and joy.  I also found many promises from God and none of them said “You deserve this, Myra”.  Yes, we have a 16 year old beautiful son together.  He is my world as are my two beautiful daughters and my gorgeous grandbaby.  But at the end of the day, I have to listen to the sound advice of a dear sweet, wise woman from our hometown.  It is better to come from a broken home than to live in it.   As a child of divorce and a broken home, I can honestly say that is a very true statement.  I know my wounds and my scars; some still haven’t healed.  I don’t want that for my children.  I am better than that. They deserve better than that.

My husband alone did not tear this marriage apart.  I made my mistakes.  At the end of the day, we both quit trying.  Quit trying to make each other a priority.  Quit trying to lift each other up.  Quit trying to remember why we love each other.  Quit trying to support each other’s goals, dreams and ambitions.  Quit trying to be nice and kind to one another.  We just quit on each other.  Everything was a sarcastic remark or a little quip.  There were many words mumbled under our breath.  And that’s when the separation truly began.  He went his way and I went mine.  We had an occasional Friday night dinner date but those stopped.  We hugged and kissed but they were cold and unfeeling moments.

There were many ways to fix it.  But between my anger at his actions and his need for alcohol it just simply could not be fixed.  So, here I am.  Doing me.

Now, I can get healthy again. Walking daily, eating right with the support of those who love me.

Now I don’t have to play the role of a good Christian wife while being treated like a doormat and living a life of hypocrisy

Now I can listen to gangsta rap, country or whatever without judgement.

Now I can binge on Netflix and Hulu without hearing how horrible I am.

Now I can sleep in my bed again without the smell of liquor and beer.

Now I have peace in my home once again.

Do I miss my husband?  I have to be honest and say no.  The man I fell in love with is gone.  His mistress, the bottle, now has him and I no longer have the will to fight her.  I am a child of God; princess of the King of kings and LORD of lords.  I deserve better!

If you are living in this same cycle of emotional abuse-you deserve better.  Girl, straighten your crown and live your life worthy of what God called you to do and to be; he does not want you suffering like you are.  It took me two years too many to figure that out.

So, here is the start to the next chapter in story He has written for me.

God bless and goodnight!

Myra 🙂

 

 

bible study · Christian Blogger · Christian Living · Christian Mother · Christian Wife · prayer

Worthy of the Calling Days 16-30

 

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This gorgeous work of art was a gift from Sarah Koontz  created by In His Name Co; I won it in one of Sarah’s giveaways for her launch team.  You can  find them both on Instagram at         @sarahekoontz and @inhisnameco

But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into Him who is the head-Christ ~ Ephesians 4:15

I am about to be the most transparent I have ever been in my life.  You see, my husband is a counselor and I struggle with exposing too much.  As his wife, I do not want to shame him or myself however as a Christian I know our stories help one another.  It was in talking to a friend the other night before a baseball event I realized how sharing our stories help us grow closer to each other.  As I read back through my notes from this study 1 Corinithians 12:4-11 comes to mind where Sarah explains “we belong to one another; we affect one another; we read one another”.  This was one of those moments.  My friend  had no idea what I went through and I had no idea what she went through but it was an amazing thing because we both knew the struggle and we grew closer through that conversation.  It was a beautiful moment.  So here goes my story of how I discovered I was Worthy of the Calling.

At the time I was doing this, October 2017,  there was so much going on in my life.

First, I was struggling with work and the rumors about me not doing my job; questioning my usefulness to our organization and many other things.  I felt defeated.  I felt like giving up.  However, I had an amazing boss at the time who always asked one question:  “Did you hear it from me? No!  So do your job and quit worrying about everyone else” But isn’t that what we as women all struggle with?  Acceptance! I wanted everyone to know what I did.  I was mad.  I was angry.  I was bitter.  I was THAT person!

Second, I work in the Medicare industry and from September 1-December 15 life is extra busy.  I am rarely home and rarely see my husband and kids.  My days start at 6 AM checking email and end at 11 PM or 12 AM checking email.  I work sales and I have to have numbers at the end of every day without fail.  To say this time period is stressful is an understatement.  However, this year was different.  I was home more due to our Plano office closing which was very tragic for me.  That office was my labor of love for 4 years.  There was so much sweat equity in that office it was unbelievable.  Hence the reason my family wasn’t use to me being home.  In all the years I’ve been doing this, 2017 was the year we had to adjust to a new schedule of me not traveling.  It was much harder than anyone realized.  I loved being home and my family loved having me but we had learned how to function apart and not together.  I wanted things done my way; they were doing things their way.  It was tough for this Type-A control freak of a woman.

Third, my marriage is always rocky during this time of the year.  Lee goes his way and I go mine and we meetup when we have time.  My stress level is super high and I’m so not fun to be around.  If we said 5 words to one another in a day, it was too many.   He was use to a quick morning phone call (if I had time) or a quick “I love you” text message.  He never had to put with the cold shoulder or the hand to the face brushing him off because I was busy.  Yep, I did that!!!  And if you really knew the old school Type A husband I have you would truly understand how bad that was for his ego.  To put this bluntly, I sucked it up at being his wife.  When I was home I slept on the couch because I was working and didn’t want to disturb him.  Lee requires hours of sleep; I can run on minutes with the right amount of coffee!  So you can imagine our intimacy level was at zero.  That makes for a very cranky husband mixed with a cranky wife and all we could do is blame the other instead of looking at ourselves.  Divorce was looming it was that bad.

Fourth, my son was raising himself.  He would send texts like “I know you are busy mom but just wanted you to know”; “Hey mom, is it okay if I call?”; “Mom, are you busy?”  When I would receive those messages I would almost tear up because I never wanted to be that mom.  I wanted to always be available to my children.  And others were getting him to and from everything.  I missed a lot every fall.  Heck his 8th grade year was his last year of football and I made one game.  I only spoke to my oldest because she was one of my agents.  My middle child disappeared and I think I said three words to her during that whole time.  Not only was I a bad wife; I was a horrible mother.

Finally, I am married to an alcoholic.  He has been sober for many years but I worry of him backsliding.  This adds a whole other level of craziness to my life.  I was constantly worried I pushed him over the edge.  I led him to have a beer.  I made him feel he needed alcohol to feel loved.  It was my fault he had taken a few drinks. BUT never did I address this with him.  I just let these thoughts hold me captive.

I was not enough for my job, my husband and children. I was relying on myself and had no where to turn.  Have you ever been so engrossed in something and suddenly you looked up and you realize it’s storming?  That was my life.

Then I found Sarah’s bible study Worthy of the Calling  and slowly God and Sarah helped me peel back the layers.  Now, it was October and I’m usually slammed during this time but I made a commitment saying it’s only 10-15 minutes.  This made it so easy for me to catch up on the weekend or the very rare downtime I had available.  Being on the launch team I was blessed with the ability to preview everything and decide if it was really something I could commit to-it was!

Reading Sarah’s words there was an automatic draw to reading more.  In a time of my life where I felt like giving up, I had something to look forward to-her daily emails.   You’ve read my experiences in Days 1-15 but in Days 16-30 was where my true reformation of the heart took place.   I started going deeper and spending 45 minutes to an hour researching for more answers.

It is in these days that I learned about submitting to my husband.  OUCH!  I learned that my job is not that important because if I died today, someone would replace me tomorrow.  I found out that my children and my husband are always there waiting for me with open arms unconditionally.  I found out my past mistakes do not matter because in Christ I am made new again.  I discovered that to avoid the crankiness my husband and I had to talk to one another.  I had to walk with wise counsel and not fools.  I had to up my prayer life and commit to it.  But most important, I discovered that even when I think no one else could possibly love me I have the love of a Father in Heaven.

In order to learn these things, I had to humble myself.  I had to be open to the lessons before me and hear what God and Sarah were telling me.  I had to pray like I had never prayed before in my  life.  I was on my knees crying.  I fell apart.  I was broken.  I had to look inward and admit my sins and wrongdoings.  With God and Sarah daily I put the pieces of my life back together.

 

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the wall above my bed is where I put my Bible as a daily reminder that I Am Worthy

 

Now I work from 9-5 from home if possible but report to my office 1-2 times a week.  My husband and family are my priority.  I work my work schedule around my family instead of the other way around.   My husband and I make sure that at least once a week we have our time together away from technology and everything so we can stay connected.  We also take a mini trip every quarter and one big one for our anniversary in July.

Now when we feel we are slipping back into old patterns, we communicate to one another.  Amazing how that changes things.  My children are use to having  mom around and know I’m here for them.  They never have to ask me if I am available to them; I am always available for my children. I make time for them.  I will now step out of meetings to take calls form my husband and children.

I no longer worry about my husband’s alcoholism.  I discovered that was a lie from Satan holding me captive. Does he have moment of weakness?  Absolutely!  Does he never act on them? No!  He’s human and makes mistakes just not drunken stupors.   I am blessed with true friends and one of them said, “You knew you were marrying an alcoholic.  He’s not a perfect man but you aren’t a perfect woman either.  You agreed to marry him for better or worse; unfortunately you are in the valley of the worst”.  (y the way, my husband had one beer when we had that conversation!) OUCH!  Her words stung a little.  But I do that quite a bit.  I expect those I love to be held to higher standards.  That is something I have learned to let go of a little bit.    Now every morning I put on my full armor of God and kick the devil out of my home and my life.  Every morning I remind him he lost the battle and victory will not be his.

In this whole study with Sarah, I found a friend in God and her.  If you are on her launch team, you will understand this statement.  My biggest take away is that I am loved no matter what; I am a child of God no matter what; I am enough even when I feel I’m not.  I AM WORTHY of His calling even if others tell me I’m not.  Now to figure out what that calling is……..this is where I hope Sarah’s Wisdom Whispers study will help.

My life was blessed to find Sarah Koontz and her beautiful bible studies.  May your life be just as blessed.

God Bless!

Myra 🙂

PS……..There are just 3 more days to pre-register for the Wisdom Whispers Bible Study!! This  31-day study of King Solomon will help you hear Wisdom’s call to salvation, obedience,  and humility. Did I mention it’s completely free? Visit “Living by Design Ministries with Sarah Koontz to learn more and sign up today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

bible journaling · Christian Living · Christian Mother · Christian Wife · motherhood · prayer · warbinder · warroom · Writing

Worthy of the Calling Bible Study (Days 1-14)

tiara
She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her. ~Psalm 3:15

I am about to be as transparent as I can be.  The last year has been rough.  Marriage is hard.  Blending lives is difficult.  Couple that with two demanding jobs, a husband working on his doctorate, a 15 year old boy, growing into a young man, learning to drive and pursuing his dream of baseball.  Non-stop weekends that start on Saturday morning at 5 AM and end Sunday night at 11:59 PM.  You combine it all and Satan has been given an opportunity to dwell around the Hutcheson household.  He has lingered and brought a cloud of negativity like no other.  My children were bickering, my husband and I were in constant disagreement, and illness has plagued our home-me, kids, husband.  To say Satan had a foothold on my life and in our home is an understatement.

At the beginning of October, I was admitted to the hospital.  Prior to being admitted, my  husband and I were on the brink of divorce.  My son was not talking to his father.  My girls were not talking to each other.  Misery and heartache were overshadowing my positive outlook with a darkness and taking over my life.  I was not fun to be around.  I loathed getting up.  I did not care what I looked like or if anyone saw me like that.   My breaking point was reached.

My first night in the hospital was fine.  I was only being monitored.  Then the next day I was told my gall bladder needed to be looked at because I was symptomatic of that.  A day later I found out I was chronic.  My gall bladder was full of stones and suddenly I understood half of the reason I felt the way I did.  Surgery was scheduled and it was the most horrible pain of my life.  I would say worse than childbirth.

20171021_18291859285302.jpgI had too much time in the hospital and at home resting for a total of seven days.  I had to do something so I read books, wrote, jounaled, etc.  In that time I picked up my tablet and started doing a deep dive into a bible study called Worthy of the Calling by Sarah Koontz I had the pleasure of previewing, helping with edits, and launching it.  I never knew this book of the Bible was the RX I needed.  Ephesians!  I have studied it often.  Never like this!

Sarah Koontz has a way with words and explanations that I do not need a Masters of Theology to understand what she is telling me.  I have done Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer studies spending hours daily studying.  Half the time I missed a lot of the meat of the issue because I just wanted to get through it.  But Sarah only needed 15 minutes of my attention and WOW!  I never knew 15 minutes could make a big difference in my life.  Sarah spoke to me in short emails that spoke to my hardened heart.

When I was given the opportunity to launch her bible study, I had no idea of the impact it would have on my life.  I have read many Christian books and studies but this one study on Ephesians changed me.  For the better.

Sarah’s easy to understand text intertwined with daily activities and the most beautiful freebies I have ever seen created for a study, make this a winner for any woman at any stage of her life.

Day 01 Quote Graphic Ephesians Study

In the last 14 days I have learned that in Christ I am:

  • Chosen in Love to be holy and blameless
    • I am not at fault because Jesus has paid the price for me and my sins
  • Chosen by God to be His daughter; a recipient of His inheritance
    • I am His princess entitled to the riches of His kingdom
  • Forgiven
  • Redeemed
  • A treasured possession
  • Free
  • Defined by God (and ONLY God)
  • Humble

Day 12 Quote Graphic Ephesians StudyThis is a short list of what I have learned in the first 14 days.  By day one I learned that with the first two verses of Ephesians 1:1-2 I AM WORTHY!  I am a faithful servant of Jesus Christ.  I remembered who I am and whose I am.  By day three, my marriage was saved.  My husband and I talked through our issues like never before because my heart was softened.  By day seven, my girls were loving one another and being kind to one another again.   By day fourteen, a father and son finally hugged for the first time in months.  Satan is no longer lingering in our home.     Why?  Because through this study, I found my Christian heart again.  I was reminded of an unconditional love of a father and his daughter.

I never realized how much changes when we truly put God first.  This study has helped me establish good study habits because I could not wait to see what God, through Sarah, would share with me.  I enjoy my Sabbath now with rest and reflection because Sarah stresses this within the study as well.  Whether it was reading my prayer cards or coloring my downloads, I have finally truly learned to rest.

In this study, I have cried tears of sadness, prayed in a different more spirtitual way and let my past go.  I can look myself in the mirror for the first time in a long time and see the woman God created me to be-fearfully and wonderfully made.  I have nothing to be ashamed of because all my trials were the ones He prepared for me.  He knows my story.  He wrote it.  Only He knows the ending.  No matter what path I choose going forward, I know I am Worthy of His Calling on my life.

In September of this year, I would wake up.  Get dressed.  I might brush my hair or I might not.  I would go to work.  Come home. Live in depression and strife.   I, a blessed woman of God, never understood that I am worthy only because He made me.

Today, I woke up blessed and full of His love for me.  I got dressed.  I did my hair.  I put on my makeup and looked in the mirror for the first time in months and said “I am Worthy”.

Thank you, Sarah Koontz!  Because of this study, my family has been saved.  I have come out of the darkness which has brought others in my home out of the darkness.  God is first again.

I cannot wait  to see what else God has in store for me in the next 17 days of walking with Sarah through the rest of Ephesians.

If you feel the call to join Sarah, please click the image below.

A Free 31-Day Study of Ephesians Pinnable 1

Christian Living · Christian Mother · Christian Wife · Mother of Adult Children · motherhood

A Lesson From My Children

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It is in watching my children grow together that I am reminded of this verse and it’s meaning. Having a special needs sibling can be tiring and exhausting but it is also what brings you to a relationship with Christ like no other. My youngest and oldest struggle with this everyday as they watch their sister struggle from Spina Bifida and all the other minor diagnosis’ she received.

Just when I think I need to get on my knees because of animosity amongst them, I turn around and can capture moments like the one in the image of my son pushing his big sister in difficult terrain for a wheelchair.  It is then I am reminded that I have done my job as a mom.  They do love her and care for her just as I do as her mom.

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.  ~ Hebrews 6:10

They are siblings and they will fight.  But being the sibling to a special needs sister is different and requires a lot of hard work and understanding.  It can be exhausting coming second to her needs.  You can grow resentment because you just don’t understand why mom has to keep spending time with her at doctor appointments and performing procedures that MUST be done for her health. 

However, just when I think my children are falling apart I notice things.  Things like hearing them reassure one another when one of them is down.  Watching their faces brighten up when they spend sibling time together.  There is no better sound than their laughter.  It brings so much joy to my life and makes my heart full.   But most of all I see them make sure their sister is included or find a way to include her.  When she’s having a hard time, they lend her a hand. 

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  ~ Galatians 6:2             

This is where I take my lesson.  I need to do that more as a wife, as a friend, and as a mom. How many times do you get frustrated with your spouse?  The friend who asks for advice but never takes it?  The kids calling out “mom” for the 100th time in a day?  I need to make sure I am including those who are often forgotten or different. When I am tired, exhausted and feel like someone should be able to do something for themselves,  I need to reach out and help anyway. 

I have to love people for who they are and meet them where they are. I am blessed beyond measure and just as God has loved me I must love ALL his people.

Children give you teachable moments too. This is one of mine. 

Christian Living · Christian Mother · Christian Wife · crafting · decorating · Mother of Adult Children · prayer · Proverbs 31

The Prayer Jar

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
    You have given me relief when I was in distress.
    Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!
                                                     ~Psalm 4:1

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My children are too old for Easter baskets this year but a prayer jar will last forever!

Every week a new prayer is written and placed in this jar.  As troubles arise in each of their lives and verses are discovered they are placed in this jar and prayed over constantly. 

The girls’ jars are complete and finishing my son’s in the morning.

At the end of the year, they will get their jars to read through and it will be their gift to cherish. 

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Have a Happy Easter and remember the best way to be the best mom possible is to pray for yourself, your spouse/significant other, and your children. 

God Bless!

Myra
A very blessed woman in TX

Christian Living · Christian Mother · Christian Wife · motherhood · prayer · Preaching · single moms · Uncategorized

How to Pick Up Your Crown Step 2

1 Corinthians 10.31

In the blog, Pick Up Your Crown, Girl I discussed 10 steps to gaining confidence.  I also folowed up with Step 1 in the blog How to Pick Up Your Crown Step 1.  In this blog I explain the most important step of picking up your crown and owning it- coming to know God through a personal relationship with our LORD and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Another very important step in being able to pick up your crown is to Give the Glory to God ALWAYS and to honor Him ALWAYS!

Let’s face it it’s easy to love God and praise Him when things are going right but when things are falling apart it’s hard to say “thank you, LORD”.  I know, I’ve been there and done that.  I tithed when things were great and didn’t when they were bad.  I prayed when things were good and didn’t when they were bad.  When everything in my life fell apart, I blamed Him instead of praising him through the storm.

giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, ~Ephesians 5:20

The Bible does NOT say give thanks to God when things are good.  It says FOR EVERYTHING (good or bad).  This is very hard to do.  When I was learning this lesson I was living in a hotel because I had lost my job, got evicted from my home, and I had 3 children to raise and feed.  ALL BY MYSELF!   This was during a period in time when finding a job was next to impossible.  The economy had taken a downward spiral and jobs were scarce.

So that weekly hotel you pass on the highway and think who stays there weekly?  Well, me and my children did.  The PTA mom, the soccer mom, the baseball mom, the Jr. Leaguer with her hair done just right and dressed just like you -she stayed there. This is why I never judge a book by its cover-I’ve been that book misjudged many times.  I know what is happening on the outside is not a true representation of what is happening on the inside.

I look back on what seemed to be a very dark moment in my life and I am reminded of how great God really is because as I look back on that moment I am reminded of a  what was born from me being there in that moment of time.  A sweet friend of mine came to visit me at my worst at that hotel and as I was crying about my circumstance and complaining about my life, she saw a need I could not see.  All I saw around me was MY situation.

Out of my darkest moment a very good ministry was founded for the children who lived there.  Kids playing soccer next to a highway.  Kids running around without solid parental guidance.  Teens having sex in the hallways and rooms of a hotel because of the lifestyle they were raised in. They finally had a voice through my sweet friend and her Life Group from church.

Funds were raised and kids who didn’t know what a Christmas tree was like or the joy of decorating for Christmas suddenly found that joy. Children and parents were mentored on a life with Jesus and still are because I weathered a storm.  Because although I reached my lowest moment in my life; there were families reaching one of the highest moments in their lives-coming to know the LORD.  Only God could make that happen.  But if I had not lived in that place for that season of my life, it never would have happened.  My life made that happen.  That, my friends, is very empowering to know my life impacted others in that way.

I could tell you countless stories of weathering the storm, we all have them.  Some of us have more than others.  But the biggest lesson I learned through all my trials was that God DOES have a plan for me.  He does have a hope and a future for me.  I just have to listen to my Heavenly Father and see the beauty being created even when my life is a hot mess for that hot minute.  That, my sweet friends,  was so empowering to me.

My life is very blessed now but I have a past.  I had shame from bad relationships and poor choices in men.  I had guilt from bad choices that led to sexual promiscuity and poor financial management.   I had loneliness from low self esteem.  Sound familiar?  Good news is that it will get better.  You see one day I found out I have Jesus and my whole life changed. My Jesus is my friend and he held my hand when I thought no one else in the world was there.He led me to Central Texas.  He brought me to my beautiful life in my beautiful home with my amazing husband, my three beautiful children and friends who are now family.

It wasn’t easy and it has taken a lot of healing and a lot of forgiveness of others and myself.  It took me realizing that no matter  what God has a plan and no matter what He deserves the glory for all my hurts, all my pains, and all my success.  Without the trials and tribulations I would not be who I am today.  I would not know a life with God.  I would not be a mother who prays for her children not to know the experiences I endured in my life.  I would not be a wife who submits to her husband and prays for him daily.  I would be a lost soul walking on this earth filled with pain, filled with misery, and void of the love and laughter that my family and friends today bring me.

It’s not easy to always give the glory to God.  Sometimes we forget.  We are human, it happens.  But I have prayed for God to convict me when I fail to praise him even during the bad times and He does.

My challenge to you today is simple:  Find your hope and your future even when you are in the storm.  See the beauty in your hot mess moments.  We all have them.  Turn the negative into a positive.  Know that no matter where you are in life at this moment that God, and ONLY God brought you to where you are today. GIVE HIM THE GLORY FOR IT ALL!  But most importantly, know that even when we are a hot mess in those hot minute moments we still deserve to pick up our crowns and a know that even when we feel no one else is there our Heavenly Father is because we are the daughters of the King of Kings and LORD of Lords.

And that my sweet friends, makes all of us blessed women!

God Bless,

Myra

A Blessed Woman in TX

 

 

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baseball · Christian Living · Christian Mother · Christian Wife · Launching into Adulthood · Mother of Adult Children · motherhood · prayer · Preaching · Proverbs 31 · Teen Boys · Youth Group

Bringing Youth Group Home

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” ~Proverbs 22:6

For the last few months I have been struggling to get my son to go to youth group.  As I have prayed over this fervently, God finally gave me the answer the other day in Lifeway.  “I’ll buy a study we can do at home together”.  So, since both the 14 year old and 19 year old can’t make it to youth group on Wednesdays, I’ll bring it to the house!  I’m a little nervous but also super pumped about this.  I haven’t done anything like this since they were little!!! But then I asked “why not?”

We have to remember that no matter how old our children are, we are still parents.  Yes, they can take care of themselves but without proper guidance and teaching and training, life can get hard real quick.  Everyday I talk to my 25 year old.  Sometimes they are long conversations sometimes they are a quick text message, and sometimes, I just don’t want to talk but everyday I hear from her.  When I don’t, I know something is not right and I reach out. My job as a parent never stops!!!

It can be tiring to be always “on”as a mom.  Even when they get older, they still only talk to you when you are on the phone or in the restroom or when you are trying to rest.  Even when they get older they still need you to cook them a meal, love on them and comfort them when they are sick. It can be exhausting shuffling kids from point A to point B.  But then they get the drivers license and you miss taking them and having those little conversations in the car. And you would give anything for that moment once again.

Here is what I know today:   I would give anything to go back and do it all over again to really bask and take in those moments with Megan and Marissa.  I am down to my last one at home and I am learning to put a new spin on this because one day there won’t be anyone to drop off in the morning. One day they will all have their own families, their own lives.  But the one thing I do know, they will never not know they are loved.  I will never not be there for them.   Just because they are grown does not mean they do not need me.  It means my job as a mom is different. I lean on my parents everyday, so why shouldn’t they lean on me.

So, today I prepared for youth group at the house and my son’s best friend and his mom will be joining us.  They have been our extended family for quite some time.  We will fellowship and worship together tonight at we study The Battle Plan for Prayer Teen Bible Study. 

To prepare for this I have put together my Mom Prayer Journal for Christi and myself.  This is where we will journal everything about being a mother and all our prayers for our children.

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wp-1456947669950.jpg In here I have a spot for all those awesome downloads, prayer calendars, bible studies, etc I find online.  Then I have a section with paper and dividers for our children and my step grandchildren. But I digress!  I will save this for another post another day……..

I have also put together some sheets for the kids tonight and found some on the internet.

The first thing I put together is the battle plan worksheet!  You can find it here–>Teen Battle Plan Session 1 I had to add some baseball images to it to make it interesting for the boys!  (In my internet search I could not find anything teen boy friendly so I created it).  This sheet is the main points I wanted to get across tonight.

One of the topics we will discuss tonight is confession of sins.   So after many hours of searching for something appropriate, I took an old favorite Catholic examination of conscience and made it into a Christian examination of conscience.  You can find it here –> Confession Sheet

I will also be using some others but again I’ll save that for some other posts.  There is so much I have done to prepare for tonight.  I just hope the boys have fun as they begin to learn what it has taken me 44 years to figure out-prayer is the answer to EVERYTHING!

I’m sure they will since we will also be making prayer jars!  WHAT? Of course my inner Martha Stewart had to create something!

At the end of the day, I will just be happy to teach these young men (and the young woman) about my new passion for prayer and all the good it brings to your life.

Tonight I will be blessed with 2 young men and a young woman and one of my dearest friends who all mean the world to me.  I look forward to what God has in store tonight……….

There is much more to come!  God has put so much on my heart lately and I can’t keep up (hence the reason for the many prayer journals I have purchased lately). Copious notes and conversations being recorded.  But until then…………

God Bless

A Very blessed woman in TX

Myra